The Awakened Self – Reflecting on our Christian walk

This is a 3-facet testimony. It is a story of man’s Disobedience, God’s Mercy and Grace and a Plea to all, to urgently examine and reflect on our lives – Are we fulfilling our destiny? Don’t wait until it’s too late…

For the past 2 months (since Sep), I was puzzled at how my fitness dropped. I could no longer run on the treadmill as much as before. I got breathless and if I persisted, my chest ached. Then, on numerous nights, I had recurring dreams – not once or twice but numerous times that I had to see the doctor who told me no amount of exercise would help as my heart arteries were already blocked.

But in a mixture of fear and disobedience, I ignored the God-sent dreams and instead determined that I will try another few months, and if that failed, only then would I see a doctor. This was a bad example of putting man-ways before God-ways….

On Saturday 18 November, my heart stopped suddenly while I was at the gym, and I had no breath nor pulse. In short, I died. Over about 5 minutes, three off-duty doctors who happened to be at the gym (they are usually not at the gym at that time) tried to resuscitate me and gave me CPR but to no avail. Finally, the AED machine was used and that shocked me back to life.

It was terrifying. But as I gained consciousness and realised how I just had a brush with death and survived, I was filled with thankfulness beyond words. I could only ask, “what is the purpose of this second lease of life? What did I do with life in the first place?” I was so humbled and I cried again and again. It was a miracle and a story of God’s mercy and grace in my life. Less than 20% survive in such cases, and even much less recover with no damages but I did. One doctor described it as the most unusual cardiac arrest she has ever seen (as ECG showed normality within 1 hour), and another said: “this happens only once a year”.

God’s mercy and grace were so evident.

And so the thought came back… What have we done with our lives?  Are we walking in our God-given destiny? The issue of trusting in God or trusting in man came to mind. The warnings in the Book of Jeremiah rang clearly…

Jeremiah 17:7 “Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord… he shall be like a tree planted by the waters…”

Jeremiah 17:5 “Cursed is the man who trust in man…he shall be like a shrub in the desert…”

This is not just OT warnings as in Matthew 6:19 we are reminded: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

Yet, too many of us are still relying on our own strength, setting our own targets and expectations. As a result, we worry, we fear, and we are anxious most of the time – opening gateways to spirits that affect us through the Spirit-Soul-Body connection.

And the Bible knows of this danger – Matthew 6:25-34 warns us about worry and fear. Still, many choose to ignore this…

With this crisis experience, I like to remind everyone of this sobering parable found in Luke 12:16-20. The rich fool had a great harvest and built barns after barns to store them. He even told himself, he could now relax and enjoy his harvest and be merry. But what if God required of his soul, and his life ended there? Whose will these things belong to? There was no mention he shared his blessings and blessed others. To the rich fool, it was all about the Self.

The physical life is finite… “All flesh is like grass; and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers and its flower falls away…” (1 Peter 1:24)

We often pray the Lord’s Prayer … “that Your will be done on earth as in Heaven…” Do we mean that? Are we His ready vessels? We also often make reference to Isaiah 64:8 that we are the clay in our Potter’s hands… do we really mean it, that we will allow God free rein to mould us, however He wants to?

It is time we reflect on our faith journey and see if we are walking in His destiny for us. I believe God doesn’t ever force us – He gives us choices to make. The question is: If you had to experience what I experienced, are you happy and at peace with your choices? Don’t wait until it is too late… This is my testimony and a sober warning to all.